Sexologist Juliet Allen on Lust and Nature
When I found out June’s theme was lust, I knew immediately who I wanted to interview. I discovered Juliet Allen – sexologist, sexuality coach, and Tantra practitioner – through her Instagram account some time ago, and then became hooked on her weekly advice podcast, Authentic Sex. Juliet’s regular posts conjure themes of luxuriant restfulness, nature immersion and human connection – a welcome and perhaps much needed antidote to our culture of worshipping busy-ness. I was lucky to pick Juliet’s brain about all things lust and nature; and discover a very unique method of keeping an indoor fiddle leaf fig at the top of its game (you won’t get this advice at your local nursery!)
You’re an advocate for a meaningful connection with nature for so many reasons. On your Instagram account you often post beautiful, sensual images of you and others basking in nature – whether it’s lying on the beach in the sunlight, or walking through a forest. Can you talk a little about what nature means to you? Well, nature herself is the feminine – she flows, creates, surrenders to the elements, opens, receives the sun and the rain… nature for me is where I feel most happy and alive. A combination of sun and the ocean is where I enjoy spending my time the most. Often if I’m feeling overwhelmed or stressed I close my eyes and imagine I am floating about under the ocean, being swept by the waves and the current. This meditation calms me down and reminds me that being in flow and surrendering to life is when I feel happiest.
Is there a clear connection between thriving human sexuality and allowing ourselves time in nature? Great question (and a question I haven’t ever been asked before!) I believe there is, which is a pretty awesome realisation! When reflecting on my own life, and on the lives of my clients, I definitely do feel that people who spend lots of time in nature are naturally more in touch with their sensuality and sexuality. Perhaps it has something to do with enjoying the simple things – the stillness of the forest, the unpredictability of weather patterns, the depth and magic in the mountains. Nature activates our bodies and the energy in nature is a wonderful purifier. For sexual energy to flow freely and abundantly I feel we all need plenty of time surrendering to the feminine quality that nature consistently gifts us with.
Can lust, (taken to mean strong sexual desire), be bolstered, harnessed, and/or evoked by time in nature? Yes!! This is so on topic for me at the moment! My partner often reminds me that time in nature with me turns him on and often after a surf or swim or lay in the sun we make love. And often we make love in nature – one of my favourite nature sex moments with him was in a little clearing in the forest that led to the ocean. We could see the ocean and… well, I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination.
For me nature boosts sexual desire and I recommend everyone entertains the idea of combining both sex and nature together for extra magic.
One of your recent podcast episodes dealt with ‘sex as a healing modality’. There’s also a lot of research showing a genuine human connection with nature as healing. Do you think sex and nature immersion can work on similar energetic levels in the human body and psyche to heal? There is definitely a link between the two: sex is a healing modality, and time is nature is a healing modality. The two activate energy within us that may have been dormant for months, even years! Both sex and nature evokes emotion, too, which when expressed freely is a powerful healer.
There’s a pretty sad modern phenomenon researchers call ‘nature deficit disorder’, which refers to symptoms of depression, anxiety and ill physical health that can emerge in children and adults living busy urban lives without any or sufficient time to unwind in nature. I’m wondering if ‘nature deficit disorder’ also impacts on feelings of lust; on our individual and collective enjoyment and prioritisation of sex. Is this something you’ve encountered in your work as a sex and relationship coach? I haven’t specifically worked with ‘nature deficit disorder’, however I have worked extensively with people suffering from depression and anxiety. Feeling down and out definitely does have an impact on libido and our lust for life in general! More and more I am seeing people who are simply just too stressed out, their adrenals are shot and they suffer from very low libido. I actually recorded a podcast about this last night with my partner, Nick. That episode goes live on June 20th!
Can you talk to me a bit about another podcast episode you covered, on sex magic and the power of the moon? Here, you introduced your listeners to the ways our sexual lives are directly impacted by the power of nature. Oh yeah I loved that episode! It was inspired by beautiful times I have had making love under the moon and beside fire. The elements are VERY powerful and when we consciously choose to involve all elements in our love-making it makes for a magical sex session! I recommend having fire (can be a simple candle, or an actual fire), water, earth (making love in nature, on the earth), air and ether (energy).
Do you have a favourite plant? My favourite plant is a huge 2.5-metre high fiddle leaf fig that’s in my lounge room. It’s so happy and so alive and everyone who walks into my house asks how I have such happy plants (and big plants when referring to the fiddle). And my response is that each month I water all my plants with my menstrual blood! NO KIDDING. I mix my menstrual blood with water each day and water my plants, and they love it. It’s like super powered, super charged, fertiliser.
And finally, can you give nature-loving Planthunter readers some tips on how to supercharge their sex lives? Most definitely! Here’s some tips that I use regularly:
Self-Pleasure – learn how to make love to yourself!
Presence – practice deep presence with yourself, with friends, with colleagues, with family, and with your lover. Deep presence while making love is ESSENTIAL.
Communicate – don’t be afraid to open up conversations about sex, especially with your lovers. Be honest about what you desire, about fears, about everything!
Ladies, get in touch with your cycle and learn to fully embrace and love your menstrual blood. Our blood is magic.
Eat organic. Move your body. Express emotion. Live your truth every single day.